“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
In this blog I will talk about the lack of love that are in relationships. We have to learn how to be patient with one another and think before we respond. We should also not be so quick to jump to conclusions. Sometimes a lot relationships are broken because of the lack of communication. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. I have experienced a lot of pain in some of my relationships. There were times I loved people who did not love me back. There were times I gave people the benefit of the doubt and still ended up getting hurt. I have experienced coldness from people that were very nice people in the beginning. There was never a logical explanation for these people behaviors. Sometimes these different behavior types can be so confusing. But there is something that we have to understand about life. Hurting people hurt people and what may be their normal may not be your normal. Some people grew up in toxic environments and they grow up to be toxic people. Some of these toxic people are our bosses, parents, friends and spouses. Love brings peace into your life so continue to be loving towards others, even when they are not loving you back. There was this lady at my job that was so mean to me and did not have patience when she was training me. I continued to be nice to her and eventually I kept my distance after the training. She told another lady that was new to our team that I was so sweet and nice. You see how my love for others made a situation that could have been negative a positive one. Some people may be going through something in their life and it starts to affect their relationships. You can try to address the issue with the person and most of the time they may not accept the truth. There is a saying that is so sadly true “The truth hurts” because people do not like the truth. I know this lady that was nice in the beginning but eventually she became very cold. I knew that she was so wounded deeply and she was hurt because we shared a lot of confident information with each other. I am very mature when it comes to people personal lives and there are a lot of mature people out there. When you find a good person who is very mature and will not judge you or put you down please hold on to them. The lady that I knew eventually became very cold and rude whenever we interacted with one another. Her behavior showed me that the issues she had with other people was because she did not value them but wanted them to value her. All of her relationships were so one sided. It was either her way or no way. I found it very strange that this person started calling me her best friend. I never considered her as a best friend because a best friend does not treat people the way she was treating me. But I remembered this was a pattern in her relationships. Everyone else had a problem except for her. Whenever you are dealing with people like this you have to set boundaries to protect yourself. You have to teach people how to treat you. Sometimes boundaries are necessary and also healthy. Some people we cannot avoid and we may have to be around them from time to time. In these type of situations you have to set boundaries. Be cordial with the person, be firm and stand your ground if you have to.
Let’s talk about venting. Venting can be good and it can also be bad. It all depends on who you are venting to. Sometimes venting too much can give people a negative impression of you. It does not matter if they are venting too. People have a tendency to forget the things they have said or done when they turn against you. These same people hold on to the information that you shared with them and use it against you. They use it against you to justify why they feel the way they feel about you. Stay away from these type of people because they are dangerous people. Once they show you who they are believe them the first time. You have the jealous people, insecure people, and the people who need a lot of attention, so be careful. Are you too needy in your relationships? Please make sure in your relationships you are not oversharing and being codependent. Even if the other person is doing it to you please be careful. Whenever you have two people who are venting about their problems to one another eventually someone will get tired and someone will get hurt. When the person you are codependent on decides they do not want to vent anymore they can easily disregard you and move on to the next person. This person will then turn around and make you the negative person. Being in a situation like this can really hurt especially when you have shared a lot of your secrets with this person. Remember once you share a secret it is no longer a secret, so be careful. Some people can easily throw you away when they find new friends. If that is ever the case then let them go. If a person can easily disregard you it is not worth being in a relationship with them. When they do it once they will do it again. When they don’t love you back, let them go.
Are you tired of being hurt? Then lets heal and move on!! Self love is the best love you will ever find in life. You have to love yourself before you can spread love to others. Some people do not love themselves and they have a hard time loving others. So now that we know that people will be people and you cannot change them you can only change yourself. Choose love over hate. I know sometimes it may be hard but always try to stay positive in every situation. Last year my New Years resolution was “Let go and Let God” and I have not looked back. My husband sometimes like to worry about things that has not happened yet and when I don’t want to get stressed out over things that I cannot see I always tell him ‘When that time come’. There are a lot of things you have no control over so let it go. If they don’t love you back let them go and move on.
