Unfortunately people come and go out of our life. I like to say that there is a season for some friendships. Meaning that the friendship will not always last. Sometimes we outgrow people. Sometimes we have to end friendships because of the damage that relationship has caused. Some people may have had great chemistry with a person in the beginning and had so many things in common when they first met. The friendship was healthy and you actually enjoyed being in a friendship with the person. But over time people do have a tendency to change and then the chemistry changes and the environment suddenly feels toxic. Suddenly the friendship becomes stressful and you no longer want to be involved with the person. The friend may be cold towards you and treat you like crap. Any time you are in this person’s presence you feel like you always have to defend yourself. Or you feel bad about yourself after being around this person. If you have to walk on eggshells when you are around certain people and cannot be your authentic self, that’s a sign that it is time for you to move on. If you are dealing with a crafty and envious person, this is someone you should not be calling a friend. When people do not value you or care to know what is going on with you then why are they still hanging around you. You just may be this person’s target and they actually enjoy making you unhappy. There are a lot of unhealthy people in the world that we are living in and as the saying goes, “hurting people hurt people”.
An envious friend is a dangerous friend and if you have an envious friend it is time to set boundaries. They will pretend to like you but at the same time they cannot hide their hatred towards you. Unfortunately I have experienced this with a person and I am still recovering for the third time after dealing with this person. I should have learned my lesson after the first two times. But sometimes our environment keeps us in relationships that we do not want to be in. After being friends with this person, it damaged me so much and messed up my mental health. I made a decision that I have to move on from this person. At this point I had to move on from the whole environment that was causing me to feel really bad about myself. Some people do a great job with the pretend game and I do not have the energy for it. You may or may not be this person’s only target. Who knows there may be other people that have had a bad experience with this person. Sometimes people who want to be the center of attention can make it seem like the whole world loves them so much and you are the one with the problem. Well these kinds of people are great manipulators.
After being friends with someone for many years you get to know them really well. You may be wondering why this person hates me so much. Well they know you inside out and there may be some qualities you have that they do not have. So they hate you for it and they are envious of you but they still want to be your friend. This is a very dangerous friend and they will do anything to tear you down. They will talk about you to their other friends to make you look like a bad person and make themselves look like a good person. You will actually sense this when you are around this person’s friends. You will be able to sense their behavior when you are around them. If you have dealt with people who have tried to ruin your reputation to make themselves look good then you will understand what I am saying and how it makes you feel. There may be some bad friendships that you will have to break away from. But you should always remember that being healthy is better. You do not deserve to be in an unhealthy relationship that is disturbing your peace and messing with your mental health.
I am going to list 5 ways to break away from a bad friendship. If you are dealing with a non confrontational person then these tips may not help. Some friendships do not end very well because the person does not want to admit their toxic behavior. These types of people want to continue to manipulate you because they are sick people. We sometimes get into relationships with people who have bigger issues and may be dealing with some personality disorders. Some of us were friends with Narcissists and Bullies and getting out of a relationship with them may not always be so easy.
1. Be honest with them and yourself.
It might be hard to do, but you don’t want to become as unhealthy as they are, so make sure to be honest with your friend. Try having an open conversation with them about why you think your friendship isn’t working out anymore. No matter how tempting it might seem, don’t ghost them. It might be alright for a casual friend, an acquaintance, or a coworker, but if it’s a close friend, be respectful and end things the right way. Rejection might be painful, but in the long run, you’ll be glad you did it in person.
2. Be definite.
One of the most important things about ending a friendship is to be definite. Make sure to stick to your decision and not waiver since, more often than not, your toxic friend won’t change. Don’t let yourself be fooled into thinking that they will change unless they’re making a conscious effort to do so. Otherwise, gather all your strength and prioritize yourself to avoid further disappointment.
3. Don’t be sentimental.
After you’ve been friends with someone for many years, it might be hard to end the friendship and not reminisce after it’s over. However, this won’t bring you peace and instead will negatively impact your mental health. In these moments, it’s essential to remember that you wouldn’t have ended the friendship if it wasn’t hurting you in the process.
4. Put yourself first.
When you’re ending a friendship that meant a lot to you, it might be hard not to feel guilty and disappointed. However, make sure to remember that you’re not to blame for your friend’s toxicity. You have to put yourself first and ensure that you’re feeling good with the decisions that you’re making. After all, friends come and go, but it will rub off on you eventually if you stay in a toxic friendship.
5. Make an effort to make new friends.
After you end a friendship and take some time to process what happened, it might be time to look for some new friends. Make sure not to force it and only look for people who share your interests and seem genuinely kind. The most important thing is not to get stuck in a pattern where you choose toxic friendships over healthy relationships, both friendly and romantic ones.
At the end of the day, remember that you owe it to yourself to end that relationship if your friend is toxic to you. Life is too short to spend time with people who don’t uplift you and make you feel better. Ending a friendship is hard, but you can handle the situation better than you expected if you treat the people in your life with respect.
You deserve to be happy.
