Hello, my name is Shannon and I went through Second Infertility for 10 years. Second infertility is the inability to conceive or carry a baby to term after previously giving birth to a baby. My husband went through primary infertility, meaning that he has never had kids before. Whether you and your partner are going through primary infertility or second infertility this blog is for you. We all have something in common: we want to have a child. There are some things that I wish I would have known before I started on this journey. If I would have known a lot of things that I know now, I know that my journey would not have been as long as it was. Infertility is a condition that many people all over the world face.
Find You A Good Fertility Doctor
If you have been trying to conceive for a year with no success, then it is recommended that you take some fertility tests. Your OBGYN may be able to provide the testing for you or he/she may refer you to a fertility doctor. Please do not feel bad about seeing a fertility doctor; they are there to help you. Please take action as soon as you can and make sure you do your research to find a good doctor. I think we sometimes make this journey longer because of procrastination. Well, at least that was the case for me. I want to tell you because of experience please do not waste time. If you have concerns about your fertility health and are not able to conceive on your own then get the help that you deserve. During your fertility testing they may find what is causing your infertility or you may be considered unexplained infertility. At least after you see the fertility doctor you will know how to move forward.
Remove Yourself From Stressful Situations And Environments
Stress can have a serious effect on your body and your brain. Your baby will not survive in a stressful environment. Your body is where your baby will live for 9 months before he or she enters into this world. You have to make your baby’s environment welcoming. Work on creating a healthy environment for you and your baby. Right now you have to do what is best for you and your baby. You may have to leave an organization, friendship, or a job that is causing you to go through a lot of stress. This is something I had to do in order for me to have a successful pregnancy. I had to let go of the situations and environments that were causing me stress. If you want to have a baby you have to do what is best for you.
Work On Your Mental Health To Overcome Depression
Your mental health is very important for you and your family. If you are depressed because of your inability to conceive, it is time to work on your mental health. After you remove yourself from the stressful situations and environments, start working on your healing process. Focus on the end results and focus on your baby. It is also time to stop the negative talk. From now on you will speak positivity about yourself and your body. You can conceive and you will conceive, you just have to believe.
Get You A Great Support System. You’re Gonna Need It.
Whether you are going through primary infertility or secondary infertility, it is not an easy process to go through. Not everyone will understand what you are going through. Infertility can have you on an emotional roller coaster. If a person is not walking through your shoes then most likely they will not understand. If you have people that are supporting you while going through your journey that is great, and their support will help you get through some rough times. If you don’t have much support that is ok too. You will have to find different outlets to get you through. In my own case I did not have very much support. The same people that were supporting me got tired of me and my desire to have a baby. I was getting older and as far as they could see time was not on my side anymore. So I found different outlets like reading books and watching Youtube videos about infertility. I stopped talking to people that were being judgemental in order to keep my mental health in a good place.
Make Sure You And Your Partner Are On The Same Page
I have seen situations where marriages were torn apart because of infertility and the lack of support from family and friends. I have seen situations where family and friends made the situation worse because of giving their opinions. Especially in cultures where children are expected in marriages. If a couple is facing infertility issues in these types of environments it is a stressful situation for the couple. This is the time that the partner should be supporting his or her spouse. When a couple is going through infertility they have to be on the same page. If you are not on the same page it will make the environment more stressful and it will be hard to conceive when you are under a lot of stress. This is the time that you and your spouse should be communicating. Your spouse needs to know what hurts you and you need to work on the issues that are causing stress during your journey. If you are finding it hard to get on the same page with your spouse for whatever reason and you still want to have a child, work on your mental health as I stated before. Find your outlets that will help you through this journey. Eventually, you and your spouse will be on the same page. When everyone is going through their emotions sometimes it is hard to see things from another person’s point of view.
Love Yourself More And Do A Lot Of Self Care
There is no one that can love you more than you. So start taking care of yourself while you are going through this journey. The more you heal the more you grow and you are creating a healthy environment inside of you for your baby. Sometimes we try to fill that void through other people, but you are the only one that can fill that void. You may think that a baby will help fill the void but that is not true. You have to create a safe and healthy environment for you and your baby. Making sure you take care of yourself by removing yourself from unhealthy situations and environments is the key to a successful pregnancy.
Start Speaking It Into Existence
Start focusing on your baby. Do you want to have a girl or a boy or both? I started focusing on a girl. I already have two boys and I wanted a girl so bad. I bought girl clothing and a pink seat and kept it near my bed. I created a vision board and the next year I was holding my baby girl. I know my journey would not have been as long as it was if I would have removed myself from the toxic environments and situations that was causing me stress. Sometimes we also have bad habits that are not healthy that cause us stress. A stressful environment is not a welcoming environment for a baby. So work on what you have to work on to have your precious miracle baby.
After you finally give birth to your miracle baby. Enjoy your baby and continue to heal because girl you have been through a lot.
Books that I have read and recommend
Excellent post. I definitely appreciate this website. Thanks!
You are so welcome. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope you were able to gain something from it. Sorry for my late response.