Overcome Issues with Your Mother-in-law

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31

This blog is not written to offend anybody. Anything I write about is something that I had to overcome or someone I know had to overcome.

Why is it that some men have a hard time cleaving to their wife without the interference of their moms? Why do men who are attached to their moms even get married in the first place? A lot of Christians like to say that the bible says that we should honor our parents. Yes the bible says in the book of Ephesians that we are suppose to honor our mother and father. In that same book of Ephesians it says husbands love your wife just as Christ loved the church. It also says in the book of Ephesians that a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. I think there is a reason that those three scriptures are in the same book. So the scriptures will not be taken out of context and quoted in the wrong way. Well guess what although those scriptures are in the same book they still get taken out of context and quoted incorrectly. Just because the bible says that we should honor our parents does not give your mother-in-law the right to come into your house and take over. It is wrong, right is right and wrong is wrong and there is no justifying bad behavior. Some mothers will come into the home to cause problems and not even care as long as her son allows her to get her way, she will continue to do it. This is not the case for all mother-in-laws because some people have a great relationship with their mother-in-law. Well that is not the case with everyone. Some women are miserable in their homes and they do not feel free in their home because of their mother-in-law. The mother-in-law has taken over the kitchen and what ever else she can take over. She has something to say about everything and always giving her opinion. She manipulates the son and does not care how the wife feels. Some mother-in-laws feel like this is my sons house and I can do whatever I like and I do not have to respect my daughter-in-law. Actions speaks louder than words . You can tell by a persons behavior how they think because of their actions. If there are no boundaries set then there will always be trouble in the home. Men who are attached to their mom’s can easily be manipulated by the mom and they will never see any wrong that she does. The mother knows this and she uses it to her advantage. Even though she knows you can see straight through her she doesn’t care because she knows that she has her son right under her finger. These women will cause fights between their son and his wife and if the husband is too attached to see the mom for who she is the wife will always be the bad person. Some men will even team up with the mom and insult the wife. This is all because of the moms manipulation. Sometimes the situation gets so bad that they start involving the siblings and now the wife is the bad person in the eyes of all the in-laws because of the mother-in-law. This is a tough situation to find yourself in and a challenging situation to overcome. Any women who are currently going through this situation should always remember you cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. You cannot change their behavior you can only change how you respond to their behavior. You may have prayed for this situation to change over and over but your mother-in-law is still in your home after many years. You will have to learn to find peace in the midst of this situation. Yes we are supposed to respect our elders but our elders are also supposed to respect us. At the end of the day we are all adults and respect goes both ways.

Unfortunately some marriages ends in divorce because of in-laws. Some people decided to stay in the marriage and fight for the marriage. If you and your husband is on the same path this will be an easy challenge to overcome by setting boundaries together. If you and your husband is not on the same path because he is manipulated by the mom. Then you will have to find tactics to use while you are going through this situation. Set boundaries with both your mother-in-law and your husband. These are tactics that I know have been used and they worked. Stop complaining to your husband about your mother-in-law. If this topic always cause you and your husband to fight it is not worth it anymore. Stand your ground and if your husband will not stand up to his mom for you then its time to start standing up for yourself. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. If there is something that you do not like let her know but remain respectful. Always remember that hurting people hurt people. Healthy people do not get a kick out of making other people miserable. Choose to be healthy and do not join your mother-in-law in her misery. Always overcome evil with good. Stop complaining to other people about your mother-in-law. I know this is easier said than done. But in order to release her from your mind and soul you have to forgive her and let go. For now on you have to be a peacemaker if you want to protect your marriage. If she is living in your home, always remember this is your home and not her home. Regardless of how she feels you are the woman of your house and it is your husband not her husband. The more you avoid her the better your life will be. If she is a very disrespectful person only communicate with her when you have to. At this point you have to do what you have to do. Stress is not good for our bodies and eventually what you are feeling internally will start to show externally. You will be the one to determine your happiness and that will be by choosing to be happy. Be determined to be happy. Do your best and let go of what you have no control over. You do not have control over other people’s behavior. You only have control over your own behavior.

Whatever happens in life happens for a reason. So always do your best and do not remain stuck in your pain. Let it go and move on. Let go and let God.